Category: 2018 Master Key Experience

If you’ve been reading my blog through this journey, you may have noticed a crazy thing I do…I have a song for EVERYTHING! Yes, literally everything! It drives my husband crazy! And this evening, I’m thinking about the song by the Carpenters…my momma loved listening to them when I was a little girl.

So here we are, at the “end” of the course, but just getting started on fully living and enjoying what’s left of the “dash”…how many years of your favorite season do you have left? Thinking about the longevity of the Scandinavian women in my family, I will likely be pushing 100. My great-grandmother was 99 when she passed, and my lovely Grandma “Corky” just turned 94 and is in great health. She’s planning to be around for many more years, and she’s as spry as anyone in their 60s! With that in mind, I easily could have over 50 years left to enjoy my favorite season…SUMMER! (Perfect season for a Yellow, right?)

In this week’s webinar Mark for Go90Grow was discussing “the dash” and had everyone do the exercise of thinking about how many years we have left to enjoy our favorite season. He brought me onto the webby and asked me: “how many years do you have left in your dash?” (40ish), “so you’re about…” (40ish), “what is your favorite season? (summer), “why?” (because of family time, vacations, travel, beaches, surf and sun), “how would it feel to have all of the rest of your summers off to have only for vacation and not have to worry about working at all?” (well, I’m a teacher and technically we kind of have summers off already, even though that’s when we have conferences and trainings and planning to prep for the next year), “how would you feel if you didn’t have to work at all in the summer and could have the whole summer to be on vacation and have the funds to help others to join you on vacations too?” (that would be amazing, of course!). Yes, I have summers “off”, but if we don’t acquire additional income in the summer (my husband is an educator also), funds are always sparse by August, especially if we take any trips or get annual passes to one of the many amusement park options near us. Living like this for the next 40ish-50ish years is not okay, so I’m working on rectifying the situation so that I can have true health and liberty.

I’m still working on my DMP revamp. I want to retire from my J.O.B. in the next couple years. I need to be laser focused. The Universe has infinite options, and as a Yellow, deciding which path to take is a challenge. But, as we come to the “end” of the MKMMA course, I have made the decision to continue with the lifetime membership option. I’m excited to see where the road takes me next on this journey of service to others and living the life I was meant to live. And as I said before, “we’ve only just begun!”

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Because I’m always a little corny with my songs for everything, I’m sharing a corny version of the song for you with full lyrics below:

“Grandma wants me to be happy.” –Happy Gilmore

“We’ve Only Just Begun”
We’ve only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we’re on our way

Before the rising sun, we fly
So many roads to choose
We’ll start out walking and learn to run

Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talking it over, just the two of us
Working together day by day

And when evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We’ll find a place where there’s room to grow
And yes, we’ve just begun

(Songwriters: Roger S. Nichols/Paul H. Williams)

All of the answers are in nature…by simply doing what you’re designed to do, something magnificent happens. 

The only barometer that you have is the heart. When you spot your flower, you can’t let anything get in your way. Being true to your divine spark is effortless.

There’s a difference between looking for the truth in order to validate yourself, and seeking the truth.

What is my truth? That is the ultimate question that needs an answer.

As this journey comes to a turning point, I am excited to move into the future with focus and determination. I’ve begun the Go90Grow course so that I can begin to build residual income with my Unfranchise, and with that I’m looking again at my DMP and restarting the Mental Diet…this time for 14 days! I’m making new changes in my DMP with more of a laser focus on dates and specifics. As I am rewriting, I am getting new insight in where to start with some things that were already on my DMP through the MKMMA experience. (My first children’t book for example, focusing on the Mental Diet, I’ve already reached out to a friend who has written books and even illustrated children’s books!)

So, have I spotted my flower? Yes! The love I have for children in my community (and beyond) who are facing challenges out of their control has sparked the drive behind my DMP. Yes, I want financial and time freedom for myself…to travel and spend time with my family and enjoy life…and I want true health: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually…which will always be an ongoing focus. But those are the perks of doing what I love, which is helping children to know that they have a future worth fighting for and they can be in charge of their thinking and finding their dharma.

Have you found your flower, or are you still searching?

I’ve had a busy week with a school yearbook deadline, so I haven’t been as focused this week on the Master Keys as I would like.

But remember this and don’t ever forget, we were all meant to shine as children do…

“OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT THAT WE ARE INADEQUATE. OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS THAT WE ARE POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE. IT IS OUR LIGHT, NOT OUR DARKNESS, THAT MOST FRIGHTENS US. YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD. THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WON’T FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU. WE WERE ALL MEANT TO SHINE AS CHILDREN DO. IT’S NOT JUST IN SOME OF US; IT IS IN EVERYONE. AND AS WE LET OUR OWN LIGHTS SHINE, WE UNCONSCIOUSLY GIVE OTHER PEOPLE PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME. AS WE ARE LIBERATED FROM OUR OWN FEAR, OUR PRESENCE AUTOMATICALLY LIBERATES OTHERS.” — MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

I haven’t had the chance to take 24+ hours of silence yet, but this newer version of the old Simon & Garfunkel song, sung by Disturbed, blew my mind. “The vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.”

Listen to this as you read the lyrics…

Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools, ” said I, “You do not know
Silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls”
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Masks and roles…I totally got it this week. Several years ago, I had a major identity crisis. Looking back it seems really silly, but it was such a struggle at the time.

When I was in high school, I went to a “missions conference” with my church youth group…one of those “conferences” where all they did was tell you everything you were doing wrong in your life and that the only way to do the right thing with your life was to “surrender your life” to missions. Well, I had a conundrum with that calling…I couldn’t become a missionary, according to them, because I am a female. So, I “had” to find a man to become my husband and that man needed to be “called into ministry” because I was not allowed to do that on my own. This was the beginning of what I now refer to as “the great brainwashing” of my life. I ended up going to a private Christian university and going deep in debt with student loans, in order to “obey God” and find a man to marry so I could be a “helpmate” to this man in ministry.

Thank goodness I met and married my husband! While we were dating, we had a conversation where he asked me how I would support myself if something ever happened to my husband (whoever that would be in the future, we weren’t very serious yet). I had chosen the major of “Christian Education” so that I could be a good Sunday School teacher and pastor or missionary’s wife…yes, I know, lame. After that conversation I was empowered to be myself again, I knew that I wanted to work with children and decided to major in nursing and become a NICU or pediatric nurse. Over the course of time and due to some personal struggles outside of school, I ended up changing my major to Elementary Education, but eventually ended up getting my B.S. in Psychology, with an Elementary Ed. Teaching Certificate.

For over 15 years of our marriage, my husband was a youth pastor. Because of the mindset from my high school days, I really embraced the role of “youth pastor’s wife.” My husband was really great about making sure that I only did things that I wanted to do to help, not to allow others to push their expectations on my or ever let me feel obligated to do anything that I didn’t want to do. But I still embraced that role, it was who I was…until it wasn’t. When I was pregnant with my youngest, my husband resigned from his last position in ministry. I had an existential crisis…yes, I was a teacher, but I had put too much pride in my role as a youth pastor’s wife and I was crushed. I had a literal meltdown, which I will partially blame on pregnancy hormones.

Now looking back, I’m so glad that life happened and we moved on into the unknown. Life has been good over the last 10 years and just keeps getting better. There are so many amazing things that await when we get out of our comfort zone, letting go of the comfort we find in the familiar, even if it is fraught with suffering or negativity.

I’m looking forward to the many things that await as I continue to move out of the comfort zone and into the unknown yet again. What I do know for sure? That my role is to be me, not to emulate anyone else. When I grow up, I want to be ME!